Rest

At times when work gets too hectically busy, my go-to source of relaxation is a hot tub (mug) of coffee or tea with honey.

I put my pen down, take off my earpods, and head on to the office pantry to fix myself that perfect cup. This seemingly rough patch-free task is sometimes disrupted by an already empty hot water air pot, which I have to re-fill because someone chose not to, and now, I don’t have any choice but to. Once that’s done though, I stand beside the dining table with my favorite pink/green mug filled with my beverage of choice: today, it’s hot tea with honey. 

I do not drink it at the pantry. Instead, I proceed to stand in front of the window behind my desk, always my favorite spot. I draw the blinds just enough to reveal the green pastures and birds waiting to greet me. When I’m lucky, I watch, oftentimes in amazement, how the soft drizzle of rain touches the greens that happily await below. 

No chit-chat. No unnecessary things said or heard. Just me, my mug, and nature – – – the same, only more meaningful, respite from work. ☕

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Vertigo 

I can barely open my eyes

And the rectangular lamps that hang above me, promptly providing light are only making it worse

The loud bantering of people nearby are like a series of thunder in a sudden downpour

I want to just crawl, hide, cowl in the darkness

Take a deep sought-after breath, close my heavy eyes, lay in the peace that my pillows bring

Embrace the calm, everything is now quiet in its tranquil place. 

Cruel Reality

 

Days trudge on difficult paths —

Under dark gloomy clouds,
About to show its wrath.

Less than enthusiastic skies —
You are greeted not by warm welcoming smiles
But instead, confused sad weary eyes.

Tight handshakes from rough wet palms,
Often ending abruptly and never with a friendly nudge.
Thus is the kind of place you will see
In a world filled with chaos and unease.
A world recklessly ruled by people who care
Not for each other, or one another
But just for their own welfare.

Enchant

Heart beats faster,

A ready smile always on my face,

Adding an extra spring in my usual pace.

Amazing power one person has

In providing me the solace I need.

The spell you have on me,

The magic that you bring

I drown in the feeling —

Oh, love…

I love at your bidding.

Re-Vision

I used my lunch break to walk around our building and get a breath of fresh air. And fresh air I got, at least for the first few minutes, right before I was chanced upon by one of the office’s legal officers. His concern was simple, but fairly old to me. He finds it “off” how their drafts are being edited, “over and over”. I felt that saying drafts are being edited “over and over” is an exaggeration, but I tried my best to explain and appease him. I, however, was not really given much chance to do that, so nothing was clarified or resolved in that encounter. Too bad.

Some people were not really very welcoming and happy with the idea that someone is tasked to edit or proofread their works. It does not help either that this someone has no Law background, whatsoever. I have found myself a subject of legal officers’ ire and complaints, and to a point, one of the people (reasons) they actually held rallies for. Thus has been the case since I started work here, and this is even after it was explained and agreed upon why someone like me had to be hired in the first place.

Their lack of acceptance makes my job a bit difficult, for whatever I do, no matter how great I am at what I do, there will always be some people who will despise me for it, and even curse the day they met me.

I understand the resentment though. To most after all, it is difficult to receive and take criticisms; to be corrected, particularly by someone, whom you may feel, is inferior to you. I understand that much, so I go through every day with much caution and an open mind, but I still do my job, and every day, make sure I do it well, regardless of the hate I’ve been getting.

But do we honestly have to take every single criticism, every bit of correction negatively? Shouldn’t we take these as opportunities for growth and learning instead? If there was acceptance, wouldn’t that be a much better place to live in — filled with butterflies, flowers, and unicorns? Dream on, girl.

I go through every day with a fervid hope that one of these days, these people will realize that what I do is merely my job; that nothing should be taken personally, and that at the end of the day, we are all in this as a team with a common goal which is to speed up the resolution of cases without compromising quality for our clientele, the farmers.

I hope for that much, not exactly a world filled with just the good stuff, but at least, respect and a bit of consideration — acceptance and being one.

Oh well. Next time, I’m going to think twice about walking around our building. Or at least, do my lunch break reflection and walk on some other area.

C’est la vie.

Lesson Learned

I just read up on news about other people’s dogs passing on amidst all the chaos, that is, Philippine politics. It got me reflecting on a few things, so here’s my #throwback for this week.

A few years ago, I got into an unfortunate rift with a co-teacher. It started with the death of her dog, and she had to take what started as a day off from work to three days. I called her attention about her absences and basically demanded that she reported back to work, since my main concern then were the substitutions other teachers had to do for her. This obviously did not turn out well, hence, the rift.

I used to not understand the value of having a pet, and how each one is treated as part of the family. I ignored what my co-teacher was going through because I chose to only see what I believed was important  – – – at that time, my duties. I still regret that day, and I am truly sorry for it.

The Lord has a way of teaching us lessons though; Of making us see where we could have done or been better.

As if to teach me a lesson and help me understand, I have my own pet now – – – a rescued AsPin, Marshie. Just like how I am with my loved ones, I go through the same struggles every time Marshie feels or seems different, the fun when she does something silly, and the joy of just having her around. I feel the fear of knowing that she will not be with me forever, and that one day soon, we would have to part ways and say good bye. The same kind of fear you feel for a loved one.

I have definitely been ‘schooled’. Now, I go through each day encountering different people, keeping in mind that I know nothing of their struggles, hence, I should be much kinder and more understanding. I go through each day just enjoying every moment with the people I hold close to my heart, and not waste it on hate and senseless bickering. And as much as I can, I stay away from negativity, for life is just too short to dwell on anything that sucks the life out of you.

Life, indeed, has a way of teaching you lessons, and love has a way of softening your heart.