It’s been a week, and what a long sad week it has been. You have been bawling uncontrollably, emotions flying crazily everywhere at the mere thought and mention of her. It’s not the best time to be wearing mascara.
You still find yourself staring at her favorite spots in the house: in the yard near the gate where she people-watched with you usually on Sunday late afternoons; in the living room near the television where she kept you company as you lounged on the couch doing nothing; in the dining room where she always bugged you to share your food with her. You faintly smile when you recall how she was always hungry.
Mornings are different now. Gone are the days when she was always the first to greet you upon waking up. Afternoons and evenings are not the same either. She was always the first to welcome you home from work, always so cheerfully like you’re the best thing she’s seen all day, and the last you saw before you turned in at night.
You notice how the house now feels too spacious, too quiet. There’s an unquestionable feeling that something’s lacking. Home now feels sad. Home now feels incomplete.
A week has passed, but tears still fall. These tears fall now because she is missed and longed for. You’d like to expect — hope that you’ll see her again, but you know that’s not possible right now, at least not in this life.
So this is how it is – – – when you lose something/one you’ve loved and nurtured so much to death, it feels like you have a hole in your heart that keeps tugging at every memory you’ve shared. It’s painful, and the pain is in your heart.
And just now you realize, your days will never be the same without her.
Life will never be the same.
We stare at the same stars at night
We bask under the same sun
Sheltered by two different roofs above our heads
Thousands of miles apart
We hold on to a promise dear
We rely on a love that’s real
One day soon the space between us
Will be nothing more than an inch.
For a society that knows and talks too much
We seldom or do not at all listen; Our aim has become to hear and read, and not to understand.
For a society that does not want to be judged
We are always the quickest to pass judgment on others, most often, senseless and inaccurate.
For a society that boasts of a deep and devout religious beliefs
We are the most sinful, remorseless, and unapologetic righteous
For a society that’s known for its courage and bravery
We now hide behind the power of technology masquerading as warriors
For a society that’s praised and known worldwide for its humility
We have now become so arrogant of nothing.
Rough uneven edges
A shower of grains spilled at every bite
Salty, but not too overpowering to the taste
One pop after another
Can’t, won’t stop now
Leave the bag empty
Leave no trace, not a single grain in sight
Lick the remaining goodness on your fingertips
Anticipate the next bag you cut open wide.
Are there times when you get too overwhelmed with the wonderful things that are happening,
You’d have to pinch yourself to check if you’re dreaming
Feel the pain from the pinch, but be glad to have felt it
Feel the relief that everything is real and true
Then pray you’d stay wide-awake as everything unfolds ❤️
How is it possible
How fate brings two people together
Find each other
As if they had been searching all their lives
Walk the same path
Breathe the same air
Go past the rest of the people
And find each other
Ah, the wonders this universe brings
You can question all you want
Ask your how’s and your why’s
Go and try to scour the earth for answers
When all that matters
Is standing right in front of you
Holding your hand
Your world is as it should be
Two days ago, someone gave an offensive and unnecessary remark about the way I look. It left me hurt, sad, and very angry. I didn’t say anything at that instance, and opted to let my anger pass and calm myself, and confront that person the following day. I prayed on it, and finally resolved to just let the incident pass, choose my battles.
The following day, I chanced upon an article on The Female Network. It was a feature about Jodilly Pendre’s (Asia’s Next Top Model runner-up) own struggles (similar to mine), and how she lifted herself up from it. How very timely and apt to read about that. And right at that moment, I became even more convinced that I had made the right decision – – – to be the better person. I picked up an idea from Jodilly, to write to myself, as a way to release my anger and frustration, and eventually, let the hurt go.
The anger is gone, and I can laugh about it now.
Earlier, with a bunch of guts and kapal ng mukha, not expecting that Jodilly would even pay any attention, I wrote her a short message on Instagram to thank her for the inspiration and encouragement. I believe, when someone gives you inspiration and encouragement, you let that person know. That’s one of the many ways you can spread love, show appreciation, lift each other up, and hopefully, inspire as well.
She replied. 🙂
Smile. We’re all beautiful. ❤️