SINGULAR


I caught up with a good friend recently, and we got to talk about the goings-on in each other’s lives, more of our future plans, life, love, and how we both weirdly dreamt we were in relationships with two celebrities — she, with Piolo Pascual; and I, with Matteo Guidicelli, who transformed later in my dream into one of my ex-boyfriends.
 
My friend and I have a lot of things in common, especially at this point in our lives. We’re both nearing our 40’s; we’re both unattached, and at our age, we’re still both figuring out what else life has in store for us. We’re perpetually at a stage of exploration and discovery.
 
Some may raise their brows on that. Others find it weird and off how two girls, er women, who both have considerably good heads on their shoulders, are still unattached despite their age and stature. “Something must be wrong,” we often hear them say. Actually, at some point, we were kind of swayed into believing something was indeed wrong with us because of how others perceived our choices and how our lives are unfolding. “Time is ticking,” “Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend,” “But it’s sad to be alone.” Trust me, we’ve probably heard all kinds of versions of it. To some extent, it could get to you. Is it really sad to be alone? If we have significant others, will we feel complete? Are we not complete now, or can’t we be complete on our own?
 
It’s not like we don’t have suitors (we do), or we’ve never been in relationships (we have). And it’s not like our standards are too high either. Once, I listened to a wise woman say, “Girls come up with this list of qualities they want in their prince charming. As they get older, the list gets shorter until the only necessary and of value qualities are left, and they eventually end up either with ‘the one’ or alone.”
 
Our lists have indeed gone shorter, but we wouldn’t go as far as saying our standards have gone lower, too. It’s just that now, we know what’s of value or not, what’s worth keeping, what’s worth pursuing. Or at least, we hope we know.
 
We have realized, too, that we just have not met ‘the one’ yet, and that one day soon, someone will come and join in on this amazing journey with us, help fulfill all our dreams and plans with us. After all, it’s an amazing feeling to fall in love and be loved in return. Sure. Now, if that isn’t the path we’re destined to take, if it’s a path meant for just one — for ourselves, alone — we are learning to come to terms with that, too.
 
Trust. We are learning to put all our trust in what has been destined for us. We have dreams and plans, a lot of it, and most have already come true, with still more than a handful waiting to be achieved. If there will be dreams and plans that will not happen for whatever reason, it’s fine. Maybe something better awaits to be discovered. Or maybe, there’s none. What matters right now for us is we enjoy the ride. We stay present, open and use all senses — experience.
 
Love will be experienced everywhere anyway, received from everyone — family and friends. To most, the love of family and friends is nothing but mere consolation. To us though, it’s one of our dreams fulfilled — a reward, so to speak. In whatever status my friend and I separately end up in, we come out well — content — because we were never really alone in the first place.

*For Cecily.

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Author: doreenmariaclara

I 'write' in the shower, like any normal person.

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